Strange Birds
by Sacred Dust
Summary: Daria and Quinn pick up a charming hitchhiker with revenge on his mind. Too bad he's not the most dangerous one in the car. A disturbing AU version of 'Speedtrapped', strictly for those with a very dark sense of humor.


_So two things happened. Number one, I missed writing a darker Quinn. Number two, I noticed a harmless coincidence between 'Speedtrapped' and 'It Happened One Nut' and did something really evil with it. Enjoy. Some of the lines from 'Speedtrapped' are used. Daria is owned by MTV, not me. Which is definitely a good thing._

Ω

**Strange Birds**

"GOD Dah-ria, what do you think people _do_ on dates?"  
>Daria wouldn't have believed it if she didn't see it with her own eyes. Her younger sister could drive, and surprisingly well at that.<br>It was funny, she thought. They didn't talk much, but she never pegged Quinn as the independent, enterprising type. And yet she had learned to drive without taking any formal classes, simply by charming her many suitors into letting her behind the wheel. It was impressive, and even a bit unsettling. She wondered what else Quinn was really doing on those nights out.  
>Daria examined her sister closely. She was focused and relaxed behind the wheel, taking command of the road-as well as someone could from the slow lane. She had a feeling Quinn was holding back for her benefit.<br>"Aren't you terrified?" she asked.  
>"You're too timid, Daria," the popular redhead scolded her. "I could do this all day."<br>The bookworm rolled her eyes. "Actually, I wouldn't mind if-"  
>"Your turn!" Quinn interrupted. She pulled their parents' car abruptly to the side of the Tennessee highway. Daria hoped she didn't put any dents or scratches in it. Dad wouldn't notice, but Mom was a different story, and she didn't relish the thought of admitting that she'd "borrowed" the car to bail some friends out of jail a few hundred miles away.<br>"But you just started. I-" Daria's words stuck in her throat when she saw Quinn's reason for stopping in the first place: a strange man waving enthusiastically from the side of the road. "No way. We are NOT picking up some insane, murdering serial killer! How reckless can you get?!"  
>"He's not a killer! I recognize him. It's..." Quinn was obviously groping for an excuse to pick up a hunk and slander her best friend. As usual, she came through. "...Sandi's cousin from Memphis."<br>Daria wasn't buying it. "Mom and Dad would crucify us."  
>"Right, but taking the car out for a hundred-mile joyride won't bother them at all," Quinn said with biting sarcasm. "Face it Daria, you're already accessorizing."<br>Daria hesitated, unused to her own weapon being used against her. "...You mean, I'm an accessory?"  
>"Whatever. Look, lighten up. You drive and I'll keep him from murdering us." Quinn said playfully. The gleam in her eye told Daria she wasn't going to win this argument, and maybe she didn't need to.<p>

"Howdy!" the hitchhiker hailed them in a strong Southern accent. A self-styled cowboy, he was dressed in light blue jeans without a speck of dust or dirt, a darker blue jacket with a flared collar, and a large brown cowboy hat. He was blonde and blue-eyed, disarming and handsome, and Daria suspected this wasn't his first time doing this. He had a neatly packed suitcase and a guitar slung over his back. "I'm Travis! I shore do 'preciate this."  
>"Now you're not going to murder us, are you?" Quinn asked, with a cajoling shake of her finger that made Daria suppress a groan of disbelief.<br>"Shoot, no!" he laughed and climbed into the back seat without invitation. The "brain" gripped the steering wheel a little tighter.  
>"See? All you have to do is ask." Quinn elbowed her gently before getting out and joining him in the back.<br>_Is she insane?_ Daria thought furiously as she revved up the engine. They could hardly be taking more risks if they were jumping the Grand Canyon. Actually, that would be the perfect place to drop these two off. Too bad it was on the other side of the country.  
>Her impression of Travis as a charmer was well founded. Within minutes he was enthralling both of them-well, Quinn, at least-with folksy and strangely derivative stories of his life. She chose to interject after the one where the bull chased him over the fence.<br>"Wow Travis, what a great story!" Quinn gushed.  
>Daria narrowed her eyes. "Yeah. It was just as good as the first time I saw it on <em>Little House on the Prairie<em>."  
>Travis paused for just the slightest moment before letting out a good-natured laugh. "Aww heck DaREEah, we could go find that bull right now! The pasture's only 20 miles away."<br>_No, I'm pretty sure the bull's already here, so to speak,_ Daria said to herself. She managed to contain her distaste. "We have to get to Fremont and bail out the band."  
>"Stop being timid, Daria," Quinn needled her from the backseat.<br>"Stop being reckless," she shot back.  
>"Band?! Hey, what a co-IN-ci-DENCE! I'm a musician too!" Travis exclaimed.<br>Daria's scowl turned darker. "Well, bust my legs and call me shorty."

Travis spent the next two hours serenading them with country songs on his guitar, though not one of them was his own. Daria had to hand it to him, he was an excellent ripoff artist. Quinn listened with rapt attention; Daria found herself missing Mystik Spiral more than ever.  
>"...So don't call him a cowboyyyy..." he howled, "Til you see him RIIII-HAAAA-IIIIIIDE..."<br>"Well," Daria said when she was done cringing, "Thanks for the unforgettable two hours of great country music."  
>"Aww shucks, you don't have to thank me. Matter of fact, I've got one more song for ya to hear-and this one's especially fer you, Quinn." he drawled fondly. Daria watched him staring at her sister in the back, and suddenly felt very uncomfortable. Quinn just smiled back, affecting blissful ignorance.<br>To the unpleasant surprise of both the Morgendorffer siblings, not to mention their ears, Travis's happy face suddenly screwed up in anger and bitterness as he embarked on a squalling, unpleasant acoustic cover of 'Free Bird'. Quinn slowly edged away from him as Daria set her jaw and pulled over once again. _All right, that's it. I can't take another second of this guy._  
>Travis mercifully broke off the song as the brakes jolted him forward. "Dad blast it, I was just gettin' to the good part!"<br>"You've got your wish, Travis. We're setting you free." Daria said firmly. "You're hitching a ride with some other cowpokes from now on."  
>"Daria, you're so rude!" Quinn protested.<br>"Aww, that's all right, sweetheart," Travis sighed. "You can't live the life of a lonesome cowboy without steppin' on a rattlesnake once in a while." He gave Daria a look.  
>"Don't get our hopes up," Daria shot back.<br>"But it really is sad to have to say goodbye to you, Quinn," he said with maudlin sentiment. "Ya know, I coulda sworn I seen you somewhere before!"  
>Quinn raised an eyebrow. "Um...you have?"<br>"Shore have! Didn't you used to work in some big ol' mall they had up north?" the 'cowboy' was making only a perfunctory effort to get his things together. "Somethin' with anny-muls?"  
>"Hey! Yeah, I did! Well, for a few days." Quinn's laugh was forced. She didn't look so comfortable anymore.<br>Travis nodded, leaning toward her emphatically. "You surely did! In fact...I hear'd that you lost a poor bird in there or somethin' and he got all caught up in them air vents, and...well, he went to meet his maker, Quinn." His voice was quiet now. "Tell me darlin'. Now do you remember, just what was that bird's name?"  
>"Um, listen, I really don't-"<br>"Why, I think his name was mine," Travis smiled wider than ever, but not with his eyes. Daria turned around and stared back at them. She had no idea what this strange man was talking about, but Quinn was starting to look scared.  
>"Who are you?" Quinn asked. Her bubbly facade had evaporated. "How did you know that?"<br>He chuckled again, long and low. "How do I know? How do I _know?_ Why, Clovis and Posh always warned me about that darn thing. But you were the one who let me out. I thought I could trust you, Quinn."  
>There was silence in the car.<br>"But it is nice to see you again, mah little pink rose," Travis whispered. "I hate to tell ya, but this time's gonna be the last."  
>Daria looked around uselessly. They were out here on a side road in the middle of nowhere. Not another car or person was in sight. The sun had almost disappeared beneath the rolling hills.<br>"Travis. I don't know who you think you are or what asylum you just escaped from, but you're going to get out of this car." she said with a lot more strength than she felt.  
>"Oh no. You ain't takin' me outta my cage again," Travis removed his hat. All the light in his eyes had gone. "No, <em>ma'am."<em>

He backhanded her across the face before she knew what was happening. Daria slumped forward over the steering wheel as he reached up and took the key out of the ignition. He suddenly coughed and started thrashing around, and from the corner of her eye, she saw Quinn with her arms around his neck, choking him.  
>"Go, Daria!" she screamed. "Go find someone!"<br>"No one. There's no one," Daria mumbled, still groggy from the pain. But she fumbled with the door handle until it opened.  
>"I'll stop him! I promised! Now RUN!"<br>Stricken with terror, Daria rolled out of the car and started stumbling up the road to nowhere. She made it about 30 feet before regaining her senses. This wasn't right. _Dammit. I can't let her fight this maniac alone! She won't stand a chance!_  
>She hadn't finished turning around before quick footsteps and heavy breathing overtook her. A pair of strong arms tackled her to the ground, where she landed flush on her right shoulder. Daria was too numb with panic to feel the pain, struggling and lashing out with her other arm until he grabbed her wrist.<br>"You're not flyin' away from me, little missy." She felt his breath on her face. It smelled awful.  
>"L-let me go," she gasped.<br>"You shore are pretty when you struggle like that," Travis wheezed. "Suspicious little city gal, ain't you? Ya don't believe I was a bird, ya don't believe I'm a cowboy..." He smiled hungrily. His rough, sweaty hands teased the hem of her skirt. "I reckon you're just gonna have to see me ride."  
>Something pink and heavy slammed into the side of his head. Calling cards, gum, and tubes of lipstick flew everywhere as Travis disappeared from her blurry vision. In his place was Quinn, her face twisted with rage. Her nose was bleeding onto her shirt. She had hit him with her purse, tearing the faux-leather cloth in the process.<br>"Close your eyes, Daria, until I tell you." For someone so out of breath, she sounded eerily calm. Daria had no idea what was happening, but she obeyed. "Good girl."  
>She tried not to hear it, either. Tried not to hear Quinn's footsteps crunching a few feet away from her. Or Quinn's voice snarling, "It was so nice to see you again, Travis. Say, I think the strap of my purse is too tight. Could you <em>help<em> me with it?" Tried not to hear the ugly choking sounds Travis made then, or the emptiness left when they stopped.  
>"Got your wings back NOW, don't you?"<br>Long silence enveloped her, broken only by some innocuous rustling. Finally she felt Quinn's soft manicured hands on her shoulders, helping her gently to her feet. "Everything's okay now, Daria. We're going back to the car. Just keep looking straight ahead, okay?"

She trembled like a child as Quinn walked her up the road.  
>"I'm so sorry. I didn't think he would go for you too," her little sister murmured into her ear. "I swear I didn't."<br>"You saved me," Daria whispered.  
>"Of course. I said I would, didn't I?"<br>"W-what if he comes back again?"  
>"Let him. I'll be waiting," Quinn's arms squeezed her tighter. "Oh Daria, you're such a brave big sister. You're such a pretty big sister. That's what I'm going to tell everyone. I'll never call you my cousin again, all right? We're way too close for that now. I'll even read a book with you when we get back. Yes. That's right...nothing happened out here, right? Right, sweetie?"<br>Daria nodded and buried her face in Quinn's shoulder. It smelled good. Quinn was right; it wasn't that hard. She could just make believe she hadn't heard anything. Just keep telling herself that, until she didn't have to anymore. Until she could sleep and get behind the wheel of a car again.  
>Her sister would be there for her.<br>She said only one more thing about it as they climbed back into the passenger's seat and Quinn let her open her eyes again. The sun was gone, and so were all of Travis' things. "...Do you do this on your dates, too?"  
>"Ewww," Quinn cringed as she looked in the visor mirror. She grabbed some baby wipes for her nose. "What, you mean drive? Sure! You just saw me."<br>"No. I mean, um..."  
>Quinn smiled faintly. "Shut up, Shorty."<br>Daria felt like she might cry. She decided to smile back instead.  
>Finally Quinn started up the car. Daria didn't dare look out the window until they were several miles down the road. She just listened to the radio, still hearing nothing, and waited to see Jane and Trent again.<br>"Do me a favor, sis," Quinn chirped. "Change the station."


End file.
